Tuesday, September 27, 2016

WMLP! Issue No 7 is here!

Hold onto your butts, mighty issue 7 of the fanzine of old school weirdness has hit the shelves!  
In addition to all the radness you've come to expect from WMLP!, we've included an interview with pioneering dungeon designer and fanzine creator Jennell Jaquays! We hope you enjoy!

Editorial and “Crypt Thing”
Alex Fotinakes and Bob Richens
Interview with a Pioneer: Jennell Jaquays
Alex Fotinakes
Beneath the Ruins
Alex Fotinakes

Duren, a sample city 
John Huh
Items of Interest 
John Huh
The Empire of Tong 
John Huh

The Journal of Quinoa, the Unbathed 
Bob Richens
WMLP! Gazette 
Bob Richens
Cover Art: Dr. Brainus Mangenius, Psy D
Contributing Artists: Frederick De Tapia (http://freddetapia.deviantart.com/gallery)

Saturday, February 13, 2016

WMLP! #7 Update

 …and on the seventh issue they rested.

...for, like, over a year.  But, behold! The WMLP! crew is back in action and issue #7 is in the works.  Dr. Brainus Mangenius is summoning psychedelic imagery, Alexey is feverishly scribbling weird-fantasy gibberish, The Canuck's poring over his trove of forbidden lore, and John? has unwisely volunteered to do layout/editing!

Keep your eyes locked on your scrying crystals, more updates to follow!

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Digital WMLP!

WMLP! goes digital!  Wat!? Yes, all you technomancers can now access the WMLP! Volume One Compilation on your arcano-tech viewing devices.  Happy New Year!  May it be filled with weird gaming!

Click Right Here!

Friday, September 12, 2014

WMLP! Volume One Compilation Available on Lulu!

For any and all interested, the WIZARDS MUTANTS LASER PISTOLS! VOLUME ONE COMPILATION is now available for purchase on LULU.COM (visit the WMLP! Store)
In this volume you’ll find all six issues of the fanzine of Old School Weirdness, published for the first time with a real cover and binding!  No more staples catching on the inside of your briefcase when you try to sneak these bad boys into your office!

The first volume includes 6 full levels of the gonzo fantasy underworld BENEATH THE RUINS (over 160 detailed rooms), as well as new character classes, monsters, referees’ quick-roll tables, and short adventures for TSR’s AD&D 1E, and Goblinoid Games’ Mutant Future and Crypt World.

From the back cover…


Within lies a taste of the world of Fantasy before it was clipped and trimmed and placed in a neat box.  Animators and Musketeers delve dank dungeons teeming with Nosferrogu and Flamingodiles, where mutant tribes battle coldly calculating Luminites with poisoned spears and blazing lasers.  Shitoth the Spider Daemon and Bitlinktaknerekt the Hell Gnome stalk their deadly lairs.  The mummified head of the ancient sorcerer TuattaTan berates you for your obesity.  Genres mix and epochs mingle, arcanotech and dinosaurs, Thundarr meets Cthulhu!  Dreams coalesce and nightmares take on reality.  What is this glorious mess?!

It’s WIZARDS MUTANTS LASER PISTOLS! the fanzine of old school weirdness!

Monday, July 14, 2014

Ultra Rare WMLP! "Review"

I don't write reviews.  Mostly because one needs to be thorough, unbiased, and have the gonads to tell it like it is, and I have a hard time with those things.  (See Bryce's page for real reviews of modules.)

Nonetheless, I would not be a true brother-in-games if I did not tell you to get your virtual butt over to Al Krombach's blog and check out Warriors of the Red Planet.  And by "check out" I mean buy a copy immediately.  His blog is here.  You can buy this 24-karat chunk of SwordnPlanet awesomeness for $3.93 here.  (Yes, only 3 freaking dollars and 93 tiny cents--are you kidding me!!???)

This book is a complete RPG based on The Original, but rewritten to perfectly sync with the SwordnPlanet genre.  (You can be a Weird Scientist PC if you want)

I've never really been much of a Burroughs fan, but I love love love some CL Moore and especially Leigh Brackett.  If you're at all into that stuff, or even just want your fantasy campaign to look more like the airbrushed piece on the side of a 70's van, then this book is going to melt your brain and rebuild it with ancient alien technology so that it works way better.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Issue No 2 SOLD OUT

You may notice that the drop down choices for ordering now only offer "5 issues" as the maximum.  That is not an error.  The evil piƱata golems that fulfill WMLP! orders have informed me that Issue #2 hath completely sold out.  Hereafter, you'll have to look to the forthcoming WMLP! Volume 1 Compilation to get your hands on it.  Said compilation should appear roundabout August somethingth.  

You may still, of course, order issues 1, 3, 4, 5, and 6.  Please do! :)

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Issue the 6th!

Lo, verily I say unto thee, issue the 6th of yon WMLP hath arrived!  

 In this issue you'll find…

…a creepy new scenario for Goblinoid Games’ CRYPTWORLD RPG—secret government ops meets horror in the wild!

…yet another installment of Beneath the Ruins, wherein the Ice Caves and the Department of Transubstantiation are detailed.  Elusive, wooly, ice creatures, the Beast of Kokytos, and deranged practitioners of academic sorcery!

…a monster quiz that’s devilishly difficult!  MwuhahahhahahHAHAHHAHAHA! <cough!> <hack!> Mwuha.

…a long lost fragment from the Scrollus Encountercus, the premier ENCOUNTER CRITICAL fanzine of its day!

…and much more!  Okay, a little bit more.

Relevant Announcement: this issue will complete "volume 1" of WMLP! We've decided that once all the copies of #6 are sold out, as well as our current stock of back issues (#1-#5), volume 1 will be compiled and henceforth offered only as a POD compilation.  Only the new issues (7+) will be available individually through this blog.  So if you are missing an individual back issue and want to pick it up to complete the series, now is the time to do it!  At this time there's still stock of every issue--updates will be made as time goes on to reflect current stock.  Thanks!

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Beneath the Ruins Maps

Adam, the OSR ambassador to Kickassistan, made an excellent point in the comment section of my map post below.  Why not post all the maps for the published levels of Beneath the Ruins?  Why not, indeed?  Henceforth, you can click your mouse above for all five juvenile scrawlings, as well as whatever future levels get published.  Perhaps soon I'll post the sideview.

Incidentally, we'd love to hear any stories from those who've run, or played in, Beneath the Ruins.  Those I've heard so far were hilarious and I really enjoyed seeing how individual referees modified and reskinned sections.

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Beneath the Ruins, Level 5 Map

I hate flipping back and forth to check out the map when I'm reading through a module, and if I run the module I always end up copying the map out.  Here's a copy of the map for level 5a, the Emerald Halls, for any who feel the same way and don't want to jack up their mint condition WMLP #5!

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Issue No. 5

The long-delayed issue no. 5 has finally come to light!  You'll find within a creepy pumpkin patch encounter, random charts for random horrors, a strange NPC, a fully detailed dungeon level (The Emerald Halls), and a quizzical challenge for even the most diabolical DM!
Errata Warning: Two pages of the Monster Match Quiz were juxtaposed by our dear (sarcasm) printer, the Lightning Mage.  The continuity of the quiz isn't affected, nor is the accuracy of the Table of Contents, but we wanted to give you a heads up regardless.  Preemptive apology five! <whupa!>  
Table of Contents

Editorial ……………………………..…………………………   2
Alex Fotinakes

A Patch of Tentacular Jacks   ………..……………..….…  2
Venger Satanis
Beneath the Ruins   ……………………..……………………. 4
Alex Fotinakes

Creating a Chimera  ……………….……….……….……… 16
Alstott Brewhammer ………………...………………….…  17

Monster Match………..……….………………………..…… 18
Bob Richens
The Lord of the Things : Answer Sheet  ….……….… 22
Bob Richens
Cover Art: Dr. Brainus Mangenius, Psy D. and Frederick de Tapia
Contributing Artists: B. Mangenius, F. de Tapia, and John?

Friday, October 11, 2013

Coming Soon...

After what seems like a thousand years, WMLP #5 is almost ready to hit the shelves!  The purchase buttons have been temporarily disabled to give us time to restock back issues and reprogram the options.  In the meantime, enjoy the Spawn of Filth!

Sunday, March 10, 2013

And...we have a winner!

Late Thursday night, with 3/4 of the WMLP staff on hand, we fired up the RandoRaffler 2000, intent on discovering the winner of the Greatest WMLP Giveaway Ever.  The magic number six was obtained and corresponded to the order of Faithful Reader Bryn O.!

Congratulations on your victory, Bryn!  Enjoy your Gelatinous Cube and make sure to let us know how many people see it on your desk and ask, "What the hell is that!?"

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Free Giveaway!

I wanted to post this separately so that no one would miss it!

This issue your friendly, hardworking staff at WMLP is giving away a homemade Gelatinous Cube to one lucky winner.  It's made of clear resin and features an unfortunate zombie struggling to escape its jiggly mass!

Simply purchase a copy of WMLP Issue #4 on or before February 28th, 2013 and you'll be entered to win.  A random drawing will be made on March 7th to determine the lucky recipient.  Good luck everyone!

Update: Whoa! Check out Bob's blog post showing off his process and handiwork. Wicket, mon!

Issue No. 4!

Yay!  Through much turmoil, shouting and cursing, I have wrested from my laptop's clutching electronic fingers yet another mind-exploding issue of Wizards Mutants Laser Pistols!  This issue is full of fun stuff, supplied once again by the WMLP crew...John?, Bob Richens, myself, and our intrepid cover artist Dr. Brainus Manginus.  We hope you enjoy this new offering.

Table o' Contents

Alex Fotinakes

Monstrous Addendum
John? and Bob Richens
The City-State of Tal ‘Azure
Beneath the Ruins, Level 4
Alex Fotinakes

LL Character Class: TheVestigier

Objets d’Occult 
The WMLP Staff
The Lord of the Things 
Bob Richens 

Cover Art: Dr. Brainus Mangenius, Psy D.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Updated Shipping Prices

Hello Wizards, Mutants, and Laser Pistol-wielding desperadoes!

The ordering buttons for WMLP have been updated and reorganized to reflect accurate shipping costs internationally and for multiple issues.

When ordering, choose the drop down menu for your area--US, Canada, or Internacional--and then the number of issues you'd like to order.  The last step, and a CRUCIAL one, is that you identify which issues you'd like.  We hope this makes ordering both more economical and convenient!

Game on!

Monday, October 1, 2012

It's coming...

It had been deathly quiet for a long time.  In fact, as Steve inched his way forward in the darkness, alert to even the gentlest whisper, he wondered if he had even heard a noise at all.  He crept on, straining to distinguish any foreign sound from that made by his cloth-wrapped feet along the dungeon corridor.  He froze.  Was that the sand beneath his feet, or a manila envelope tearing open in the inky blackness? 

FLASH!  A strobe of burning light exploded in his face, blinding him almost instantly.  Almost…for in that split-second he saw a wild Wizards Mutants Laser Pistols Issue #3 lunging for his neck, then felt the cold metal of its exposed staple binding bite into his jugular.

Don’t be like Steve (for real, don’t be like Steve).  Be prepared when the new issue of your favorite fanzine of old school weirdness comes out this month.  

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Psychedelic Fantasies presents: Beneath the Ruins Module

A greatly expanded version of the first level of Kihago, the dungeon presented in Beneath the Ruins (Wizards Mutants Laser Pistols #1) is now available as a stand alone module from Geoffrey McKinney!

Widely known for his Weird Science Fantasy Horror setting, CARCOSA, Geoffrey's current project is a line of utilitarian modules designed to deliver high doses of weirdness to your campaign.  Psychedelic Fantasies offers low-cost, highly-unique modules in a format compatible with all classic versions of the greatest fantasy RPG of all time.  Check it out!

Monday, July 23, 2012

Issue #2 Update

The second issue of Wizards Mutants Laser Pistols! is off to the printers and we should be mailing the first copies out by Friday.  This issue was a bit more of a challenge, as summer is not the ideal time for writing and layout in the life of this wizard.  Having willingly entered into a powerful geas, most waking moments have been spent protecting a magical flying princess, rather than completing layout, etc.  Nevertheless, it was great fun putting together this issue.  We hope you enjoy it and find something rad for your game table!

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Issue No 2!

Issue No 2 of Wizards Mutants Laser Pistols will hatch from gelatinous egg sacs this week!  The Fanzine of Old School Weirdness is BACK!

Sunday, June 24, 2012

The Wizard Speaketh...(stop lisping!)

WMLP #1 has been out for almost two months now, and the response has been much greater than we'd anticipated.  Thank you to all who plunked down your cold, hard, copper pieces to pick up a copy.  Creating WMLP #1 was a blast, even with the learning curve and growing pains (we have to make more copies?!), but it's been particularly nice to hear comments from the community, both in the comment section on this blog and in the great reviews by Sniderman on The Savage AfterWorld and Tim Shorts on Gothridge Manor.  I even got some letters in the mail!  Made of paper!

Despite the lack of posts around here, the Wizard and his motley companions have been hard at work on another issue of the fanzine of old school weirdness.  This month we have a veritable eruption of coolness--two adventures, ready to drop into your campaign to the glee and horror of your players, optional old school character classes (Musketeers, oh snap!), a butt-kickin' cover by Dr. Mangenius, and more!

Additional updates shall be forthcoming, once the Wizard gets his butt in gear.


Monday, May 28, 2012

Introduction to Wizards Mutants Laser Pistols

[If you've already purchased your copy of WMLP #1, you'll recognize the text below as the introduction.  I thought it might be a good idea to post it here, so that those who might miss the first issue (you know, if they come along in a year's time or something) will still have a vague idea of the philosophy behind what we're doing.]  

When I was twelve I got a job working at the Cypress Swap Meet.  It was, and is, a sprawling grid of booths and stalls hocking everything from auto floor mats to handtools to used clothing.  The front half of it was occupied by your average commercial stalls, each with a particular theme.  Well towards the back, however, was where things got really interesting.  These were the cheap spots.  The merchants in the back lot dealt in all manner of junk, obtained from abandoned storage units, estate sales, and most likely, a few rubbish bins.  There was a constant turn over of every conceivable item—undergarments, double-knit polyester shirts, autographed photos of barely celebrities, etc. ad infinitum.  Valuable items next to what was basically trash; Plato lying out under the sun next to Dianetics.  It was disorganized and junky, but it was also where the magic happened.  You always had a sense that if you just looked hard enough, you could find almost anything in that crazy mix.

It was in a stall in the back that I first encountered the comic reprints of the old pulp horror and fantasy stories.  And after rummaging around in boxes week after week, finally came upon a strange game book emblazoned with a lady wizard and a warrior with a crazy helmet.  I looked at it again and again, and finally bought it.  I’d heard of D&D, of course—this was a bit after the fad stage—but I’d never played it.  Something in the images, though, struck a chord deep within me and I read it over and over, struggling to understand the concepts.  (Here is where the story gets sad, but don’t choke up over me, friend)  I spent the next couple years dreaming about D&D, of strange monsters and dark chambers, and sneaky thieves stealing treasure.  But I didn’t find anyone with whom to play.  My younger cousin tried his best, but was too little really to get into it.  My friends preferred video games and who knows what else.  It was frustrating, but it led to a time of ferment that was very important.  I owned only Mr. Moldvay’s basic book, nothing else.  But the openness led me to feel that all could be included.  Perhaps the environment in which I found D&D even helped to cement this vision, for among the piles of random used pots and pans, Atari cartridges and pulp sci-fi books, I dreamed of adventures where my hopelessly fragile footpad explored martian caves and befriended ninja turtles and Thundarr the Barbarian.  My love of the random assortment solidified, because that was where the magic happened.  Random disjointed elements integrated, becoming something new and cohesive, still dripping with weirdness as it crawled forth from its protoplasmic vat.

Eventually, I found others who knew D&D and played often, and I entered into some great friendships and played in many strange campaigns.  Years passed, and again as an adult I discovered the joy of Mr. Moldvay’s edition of the greatest game ever made.  I even found that a fantastic clone of it was available for free online, thanks to the generosity and labor of Dan Proctor (Labyrinth Lord!).  New friends joined me around the table and again we explored twisted ruins inhabited by weirdness that was decades in the making. 

Wizards Mutants Laser Pistols is a zine that belongs on a blanket at the back end of the Cypress Swap Meet, among the He-Man action figures and Snorks videos.  It will be weird and quirky, mixed up and cross-genred, but with the help of my awesome contributors, I hope it will be a place for the magic to happen again.

Alex Fotinakes

Monday, May 14, 2012

WMLP #1 First Print Run Almost Sold Out!

We can happily report that the first print run of Wizards Mutants Laser Pistols #1 has almost sold out.  Initial responses have been quite positive and we look forward to hearing more from those who picked up a copy.  (In particular, if your character got mutilated, dismembered, run through, or otherwise dispatched in the eerie Underworld below Kihago, pleasepleaseplease tell me the story!)

Sniderman at The Savage Afterworld was kind enough to review our work here, providing excellent details about the contents for those of you who like to know a bit more about a product before tossing your hard-earned cash out into cyberspace.  Many thanks, Sniderman!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Wizards Mutants Laser Pistols #1 Out Now!

Do you like mutants?  How about wizards?  Oh, really...laser pistols? Sweet!  Have we got the zine for you!  Wizards Mutants Laser Pistols is about to blast radioactive plasma straight through your brain!  This exciting first issue offers:
  • A new spellcasting character class, complete with unique spell lists and descriptions!
  • The first level of the dreaded megadungeon Kihago!
  • Old school pen and paper RPG trivia!
  • The Web Walker, Carnivorous Yeast Puddle, Chitinous Monstrosity, and a slew of other fierce   creatures from the deep!
  • All compatible with Labyrinth Lord or your favorite Old School Fantasy RPG.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Issue #1 in Layout

Issue #1 of Wizards Mutants Laser Pistols is shaping up nicely!  As I'm doing the layout for issue number one my excitement keeps growing.  We have some really cool content that looks even better finalized than it did when we first spitballing.  There's certainly a good deal of trial and error as I learn to modify layout and insert art, but the issue will be done before you know it.  I'll be posting instructions on ordering a copy just as soon as I finish the issue.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Changes are coming.

I'm happy to announce that a new project is finally in the works.  Wizards Mutants Laser Pistols, the fanzine, will be exploding into mailboxes in about one month's time. 

Though I have had a lot of fun, I've found that my taste for blogging has diminished quite a bit.  Information moves so quickly that its richness is lost and I find myself gorged on many ideas but unable to sit with them long enough to bear fruit.  I think my processing speed is too slow to keep up with the blogosphere.

Zines, on the other hand, are quite slow.  Meditatively so, in fact.  And this is what I'm excited about: the chance to sit with ideas and develop them, and finally to create something concrete with them that I can keep, use, and enjoy.  If you're interested, you can get a copy to keep, use, and hopefully enjoy as well. 

So, more to come in the near future!

For those of you who are fans of the Lost Continent, new content will begin to appear in the zine. The old posts will continue to live here on the blog in their new apartment on the sidebar, "Lost Continent Archive."

Saturday, February 25, 2012

20 Quick Questions

...Edited for new helmet pic, as I discovered another 20 responder with the exact same Otus image--how gauche of me!

(Haven't posted in a while...must use crutch to get back into the game...)

I've been very interested to read the responses to Brendan's 20 quick questions, as houserules and rulings are always cool to hear about.  So, here are my replies:

1. Ability scores generation method?
             3d6, distribute as you will.  However, it should be noted that I don't use negative modifiers from ability scores, only positives.

2. How are death and dying handled?
            PCs die when they reach below their level in negative HP (e.g. a 4th level fighter dies when he gets to -5 HP).  Wounds can be bound after a battle (+d3 HP).

3. What about raising the dead?
            Getting someone resurrected is such a monumental pain in the butt that it either becomes a great story in and of itself, or the player decides to just roll up a new character and save himself the trouble.

4. How are replacement PCs handled?
            I let them play one of the NPCs or roll up a character 1-2 levels lower than the lowest PC.

5. Initiative: individual, group, or something else?
            Group initiative with d6.  We have two huge rubber foam d6's, one neon orange, the other neon pink.  I love doing the roll off to see who goes first!

6. Are there critical hits and fumbles? How do they work?
            Natty 20 gets double damage rolled or full damage, choose before you roll.  Nat 1 means you lost your weapon and need to spend a round retrieving it.  I should really make up a table of worse things for the critical fumble (stab friend in butt, anger the god of war with your incompetence, etc.).

7. Do I get any benefits for wearing a helmet?
           You probably look cooler, especially if it's some sweet Otus helmet.

8. Can I hurt my friends if I fire into melee or do something similarly silly?
            Hells yes!  Though I will usually warn the shooter ahead of time that the shot looks like it might be dangerous.

9. Will we need to run from some encounters?
            Only if you want to live...

10.          Level-draining monsters: yes or no?
          Yes, but only occasionally.

11.           Are there going to be cases where a failed save results in PC death?
            Yes, but again, only occasionally.  Most often death occurs due to failing to run, not checking for traps, deciding that this NPC is too big for his britches, etc.

12.          How strictly are encumbrance & resources tracked?
          Not strictly at all.  I find it tedious, so I just cut them off at a certain point.

13.          What's required when my PC gains a level? Training? Do I get new spells automatically? Can it happen in the middle of an adventure, or do I have to wait for down time?
           You must wait for down time, but don't need to do any training.  Spells don't come naturally and are not usually shared.  They are one of the main forms of treasure, actually.

14.          What do I get experience for? 
            Killing, looting, playing your character even if it might get him killed, accomplishing something difficult that didn't involve getting loot or killing, whatever else I feel like giving xp for.

15.          How are traps located? Description, dice rolling, or some combination?
            Combo!  You have to describe what you're doing and then I roll, with bonuses or negatives depending on how plausible your description sounds.

16.          Are retainers encouraged and how does morale work?
            Not encouraged, necessarily, but my players know their way around a meatshield.  Morale is only used in battle, but is highly dependent on treatment.  Meatshields and retainers will often negotiate on the spot for more cash or rewards when they're asked to do something very dangerous.

17.          How do I identify magic items?
           Use it or take it to a shaman, cleric, witch doctor, elder, et al.

18.          Can I buy magic items? Oh, come on: how about just potions?
            Maybe a potion, but it won't be a regular healing potion, it'll have side effects like making your hair fall out or bony protrusions grow out of your back.

19.          Can I create magic items? When and how?
            No one's ever tried to create a magic item, so I don't know.  I use Holmes' rule for Magic-Users making scrolls.

20.    What about splitting the party?
         My players never split up, but they could if they wanted.  Go ahead.  Try it.  :)